stuck in the clouds??

So, it seems that God is having my "friends" avoid me for a reason? Every time! i call some one to hang out, they are busy,tired,or not answering( RYAN).. those were pretty much all you :) And i wonder if God wants me to just be alone? Does he have some sort of lesson? I want to be with people who hold me accountable! I cant be alone, i wasn't meant for that... (at least i don't think) I find myself just looking for someone, Anyone to help. But the more and more i want to change the world the more Satan brings me down about it :( Its like I'm hands down on the floor one leg back (running position) and someone isn't counting, instead of counting they are lolly gagging around looking for something to eat! And I'm stuck in ready position all by myself? I'm thinking... Lets do this! I'm ready! pumped! and ....... NOTHING........ When will this change? Is it me? Because i feel like it is.. Any which way, i have been crying for the past few days and the water works just wont stop! i need peace! any ideas?

AWKWARD? (if i didnt know any better, it would have slapped me in the face with a fish)

OK, So as all of you that were there on Sunday know, I went to see the Newsboys. It was nothing short of AMAZING. I have to admit... there was a time when i was lost, that i thought it was "stupid" (for lack of better words) to lift my hands in church to praise God. I felt awkward. And a rather weird man once said to me (other wise known as Jeff) " if you don't feel awkward, it's not write" So, this kept running through my mind as my hands were lifted so high i felt like i could reach the ceiling....Praising God and soaking in all his glory and presence at the concert. A friend from work said he wanted to take me. It would be my "first" concert! I was so effing excited! And needless to say, since he couldn't really be any other type of "first" he wanted this opportunity. So, i went and had a great time singing and dancing like a crazy...I understood as the words filled my head "awkward?" And it did not take me more than a split second to realize i was insane for thinking something that irrational. How could you NOT lift your hands and jump? This is hundreds of people praising the same GOD. OUR GOD. And my eyes filled with tears as i , for the first time experienced a christian concert for myself. I loved it so much! I was overjoyed and just so refreshed. Any which way.... if you are reading this... you rock, just kidding.. really, thanks for the time :)
my first "blog", about my first "concert".